Probably for the first time in a while, I am actually concerned about whether I can handle the challenge that is in front of me. The parallels of my 3rd year of college to my 3rd year of High School are becoming scary.
Junior year of High School, I had a part time job throughout the whole year; I was organizing myself to run for Youth Governor along with being involved with like 5 other clubs; I was taking 3 APs including AP Chem (the hardest class at KHS); and for those who know me, December 2001 was probably the most ridiculous month of my life.
Now, entering my Junior year of College. I have an internship; I need to get my stuff together for the Truman Fellowship; I am taking a Graduate level PSC with a nice, but not easy Professor; I am also taking a history (which I want to take (US Hist, 1890-1945)) that is a boat load an half of reading, and I am taking another 2 respectable courses (Hist. of Modern China & PSC International Organizations). And I would be surprised if another December 2001 sort of popped on me at some time this year.
Basically, I am not confident in my abilities for once. Not to be arrogant, but usually there is a challenge in front of me, it rarely daunts me. I am actually scared of what is in front of me.
So far this weekend, I have read over 300 pages for a my US Hist. class, and I have read about 80 pages of PSC Journal Articles. I have about another 60 Journal Pages to read (I think, likely more) and a 130 page book to read (I have read it once, but I have to present questions for discussion on it, and I need to be on top of it).
That reading is just for 2 classes, I have some more for 2 other classes, but nothing huge. However, those 2 and my other history are the “blow off” classes of the semester. Basically I have always had a class or two that just required some work/cramming before midterm and final, and I would get an A. However, those “cram” classes this semester are of the level of what I focused on in the past 2 years. Makes me scared when those 2 classes are taking a backseat… Plus, at least in HS I was fine getting a B, and now an A- hurts my Cumulative GPA, which I want to protect.
But, thanks to my friends who have listened to me bitch this week. Since I have been a bit of a whiner, and they have listened when I just needed someone to listen (wow that is sappy). And sorry to those friends who I haven’t visited as much as I should. When I would be doing so usually, I know have my nose in a book as my roommates can attest to.
We will see how this goes. I didn’t pull off the academics that well all throughout high school, but in college I have been significantly better. The other stuff went pretty well in HS…Will it in college as well? I rarely fail to meet my expectations…However, now there I have doubt.
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